i just google imaged poop.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
