If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
