I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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