I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
