If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Let's get the cat blown out
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
