porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
