I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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