READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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