We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
