...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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