ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
