Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
