i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize