Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
