Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
50% drunk capacity currently
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
my liver is dry heaving
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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