those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
