he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
