I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
