Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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