Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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