i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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