I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
