Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
