Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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