Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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