Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
