Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
