i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
