Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
