how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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