so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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