McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
