I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
