3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
