he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
