happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
