I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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