Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
