Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
