Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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