Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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