tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
