okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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