When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
