ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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