Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize