these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
