Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
