I love black thongs
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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