You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize