dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
