Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
