let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
