you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
