Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
