Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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