Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Randomize
