found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
