the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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